Healthy Ways to Handle Conflict: Husky Experience Toolkit: University of Washington

Conflict avoidance is the act of withdrawing from conflict or avoiding conflict altogether. People often do this because they are afraid of getting hurt, being rejected, or feeling uncomfortable. This blog post will explore what conflict avoidance is, why people do it, and the consequences of doing so. We will also offer tips for dealing with conflict in a healthy way.

• And I talk to people who say, I tend to be an avoider.
• For example, if you pitch an idea for a future project in a meeting, and one of your colleagues says they believe it will have a negative impact, you could resolve the conflict by rescinding your original thought.
• Many people dislike conflict, but in some cases, conflict avoidance can harm your relationships and health.
• People may do this as a way to preserve harmony in the relationship.
• Respect both of your boundaries and rights while being willing to compromise and negotiate.

Bring someone you can trust with you, advises Dr. Anand. When the conflict is really hard, we may need a kind of community intervention. I call this a “swarm” —a critical mass of persuasive influence and assistance—that can help the parties find a way through their difficulties. We need to mobilize the third side—the surrounding community—and build a winning coalition for agreement.

Jan Effective Ways to Approach a Conflict-Avoider without Running Them Off

If not, if you want to maintain a relationship, your strategies must reflect this reality. Unfortunately, with HCPs, there tend to be more frequent arguments and ruptures in relationships than there would be otherwise. This may be due to inherent personality deficits that preclude them from any real chance of effective repair. HCPs generally do not, and if they do, it’s to a very limited degree. This deficit often leads those that interact with them over time to struggle with a wide range of negative emotions such as anger and confusion. Putting firm boundaries in place is also a good way to handle difficult relationships with friends and in social settings.

When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and break-ups. But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it increases your understanding of the other person, builds trust, and strengthens your relationships. There can be legitimate reasons for avoiding conflict, such as the need to break off an abusive relationship.

Conflict avoiders withdraw from the relationship.

Continuing to openly give yourself to the relationship, even during a rocky period, allows both partners to recognize that conflict doesn’t have to mean the end. This emphasizes the goal of strengthening the relationship, rather than making the other person bend to your will. Most couples endlessly repeat different versions of the same fight. There’s nothing wrong with that; it happens to all of us. Repeat back to your partner what you think you’ve heard him or her say, and ask clarifying questions.

Using the ‘I’ statement avoids accusing or blaming a person but expresses how their feelings affect you,” states Bowman. While a better understanding of the root of their behavior doesn’t erase your frustration, it can help you with techniques to deal with difficult people. We look at common reasons for difficult behavior, how you can remain calm and composed in the midst of a challenging situation, and how you can deal with conflicts in the workplace and with family. And I just think that there’s so many positive sides to conflict. Sometimes we accuse people of being passive-aggressive because we just don’t like what they’re saying. Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship.

Stay positive

The study found that people were more conflict avoidant during the pandemic, which led to lower levels of satisfaction in the relationship. If you’re afraid of conflict, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you enter a conflict situation already feeling threatened, it’s tough to deal with the problem https://ecosoberhouse.com/ at hand in a healthy way. Instead, you’re more likely to either shut down or blow up in anger. The needs of each party play an important role in the long-term success of a relationship. In personal relationships, a lack of understanding about differing needs can result in distance, arguments, and break-ups.

He specializes in personal and professional development, anger management, emotional intelligence, infidelity issues, and couples and marriage therapy. When conflicts are managed constructively, it can help build trust in relationships. Respectfully, directly, and openly discussing opposing perspectives and resolving conflicts collaboratively can create a sense of unity, shared purpose, and mutual respect within the relationship. Handling these small situations politely but firmly can help you build confidence. These situations are excellent opportunities to practice communication skills.

Why Is Addressing Workplace Conflict Important?

I ask myself, what is that sour taste in my mouth? Asking questions activates the prefrontal cortex, the area of the brain that gives us choice. By recognizing my feelings and thoughts, I can put a little distance between them and me.

The thing about being passive-aggressive is that we like to say that someone is a passive-aggressive person. So what is it you actually want from a disagreement? And what’s the best way to serve you and accept that you might have to get out of your comfort zone. You might have to get out from under the desk and say, you know, OK.

Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Because workplaces are made up of employees with different backgrounds, personalities, opinions, and daily lives, discord is bound to occur. To navigate it, it’s crucial to understand why it arises and your options for resolving it. Sometimes, a little self-reflection can provide significant insight into the core issues in your relationship and even into some of your most fundamental fears in life. A 2011 research study found that high conflict avoidance in a relationship will likely cause relationship dissatisfaction for women, but not necessarily for men. You can avoid many confrontations and resolve arguments and disagreements by communicating in a humorous way. Humor can help you say things that might otherwise be difficult to express without offending someone.

But it could be that you have a nice dinner with no conflict or emotional drama—and often, that’s enough. Most often, the reason for ongoing unresolved conflict in a relationship is because the high-conflict personality lacks the emotional maturity to engage in consistent relationship repair after a rupture. Oftentimes, passive-aggressiveness comes out when you are too aggressive. So as a seeker, I might be causing passive-aggressive behavior in someone who is afraid to express their desires and their wants, because they think they’re not going to be met. So they think the only way to get them met is by sort of leaking them out.

How to Work with Someone Who Creates Unnecessary Conflict

Any time you can acknowledge what’s happening between you in a calm, rational, non-accusatory way, it’s going to help further the conversation toward a better outcome. Chances are, you both won’t take it so seriously. You know, raising voices doesn’t tend to bother seekers. But also try to sort of tap into the avoider side of yourself. And really invest in understanding them, not out of kindness or generosity.